Don’t Worry, Be Happy.

Be truly happy for the people around you. Celebrate their successes with them. As they rise in their careers, find love, cut their birthday cakes. Celebrate

Learn to be happy for yourself. There is always going to be someone richer than you, poorer than you, smarter than you, dumber than you, prettier than you, and so on and so forth. Though I’m not advocating for complacency, striving to be the absolute best at all costs, is kinda a waste of time and energy that can be spent doing something productive – like being genuinely happy.

Let’s face it. When you’re happy, being happy for others is a whole lot easier. So take a class you’ll enjoy, lead a healthy lifestyle, nurture positive relationships in your life, and surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself (and not because they’re so much worse off than you are hahaha ). Pretty soon, you won’t be uttering the words, “I’m so happy for you,” through gritted teeth.

P.O.Box 28, Friend zone

Lately, there has been much talk about the friend zone. At least in my circles (which seem to be more oval than round) Anyway, where were we? in the friend zone.

This word has been around for a minute and roughly means the point at which ‘Chick’ sees ‘Dude’ as a friend and nothing more.

Well, what’s so wrong with the friend zone? Nothing, if you ask me. But then again you didn’t ask. From my little intel (nothing Synovate or Infotrack going on here) Guys hate the friend zone or they pretend to.

According to the Urban Dictionary- The Friend Zone: A state of being where a male inadvertently becomes a ‘platonic friend’ of an attractive female who he was trying to initiate a romantic relationship. Females have been rumoured to arrive in the Friend Zone, but reports are unsubstantiated.

Who is at fault for zoning, the friend zoner or the friend zonee?

Many have said friend zoning is like going to a job interview where they like your CV but say ‘Sorry we can’t hire you but can you please, please hang around?’

You see an interview is an interview is an interview. That’s to say, everything about it is deliberate. You apply, you show up and if you don’t like the terms you are free to scoot.

It pays to state your intentions upfront because anyone who thinks that they can persuade the other into a relationship via being a friend is not special, but deluded. Deluded because friendships don’t always end up in ‘those’ relationships and sometimes you end up losing a really good friendship coz you decided to de/unfriend zone it.

Wait a minute, stating intentions is ok for guys but my 3^rd world country hasn’t quite accepted it, neither has my 3^rd world mind.

That said; let’s not get it twisted coz chicks also get friend zoned.

You mean girls get Friend zoned?

(Insert laughter here)

Oh boy, it happens all the time. I for one have been friend zoned like 12,984 times and counting. However, the good news is, life is sometimes fair.

Sauce for the goose and the gander alike! Right now, I’d like to make a special shout out to all the guys who think that the society is unfair because they get friend zoned by girls, I have news for you: Girls get friend zoned, too. Really!!

For real?

The norm is, the guys make the moves and the girl can do nothing but chill out. The girl’s got to make sure she’s not sending the wrong martian signals. Say hello to ‘Chick’. She really likes this guy called ‘Dude’ and with her simple but ambiguous Facebook updates and Tweets about ‘Dude’ she is already risking her emotions.

‘Chick’ lives in anticipation of conversations with ‘Dude’ hopeful that someday he will reciprocate what she’s feeling. @Chick’ invests so much mafeelings for ‘Dude’ and even has a codename for him. (I’ll be here when you finish laughing). So one time, thirty seven years later ‘Dude’ kind of admits that should there be any girl in the small circle they roll in whom he would have a crush on, that would be ‘Chick’.

Hearts jumping with joy, waterfalls, such things, ‘Chick’ gets so excited, she starts wearing pink, cute things. So later ‘Chick’ tells dude about the codename etc .His response is the codename flatters him, and thanks ‘Chick’ for being honest. Then ‘Dude’ goes on to say: “’Chick’, you’re great but I can only be your friend.”

Her desire to call ‘Cube Movers’ and ask them for the rates of transporting her furniture and keepsakes from Earth to Mars is somewhat justified. Now ‘Chick’ doesn’t hate dude, she’s just extremely embarrassed and had she not been honest she probably would have saved their friendship.

Excuse: women are way more emotional and have more pain receptors than guys do so it must hurt for them more.

As the world turns, there are some people who will never get out of the friend zone, yes eternally zoned. http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/20-guys-who-will-never-get-out-of-the-friend-zone

I’m no relationship expert and I am not here to provide any solutions. After my semi inane rambling, in the words of Doris Day, I say ‘Que sera sera – What will be, will be’

VIVA LA FRIEND ZONE

Until Delete Do Us Part

‘I, ____, take you, ____, to be my friend, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until delete do us part.’

Sounds like the traditional marriage vows that we know so well but the difference is that these are friendship vows. I’m one of those who spends much of my time on Facebook it truly is a wonder that it hasnt messed up my spelling.

Today I noticed that I have 4818 Facebook friends, which in reality is a joke because I dont think I even know half of the people there. I’ve interacted with these ‘strangers’ on occasion and the results have mostly been positive. That however is a post for another day.

What boggles my mind is the people I know but I never interact with. You know, that friend from the Church I used to go, the one I used to hang out with on the daily.. Makes me think that Facebook should actually intorduce ‘Friendzones’ (ok, ok, private joke!) But like a beautiful soul mentioned to me yesterday ‘Such is life’ and I’ll add seasons and reasons

Hardest to figure out is the people who are past the ‘sell by’  friendship dates, you know, the ones you have ‘beef’ with, the people you don’t like, the ex that you aren’t talking to, why on earth do we keep them as Facebook friends. Is it a test to see who deletes who first? I mean UNFRIENDING/UNFOLLOWING does speak volumes. It saves us from the ‘I’m mad at you’ conversation. It can be done silently but how to do it, when to do it and how to get away with it quietly. LOL

On the other hand culling our friend lists regularly to remove psychos and other hangers-on is a cool thing to do. But then again, not all unfriendings are equal. (Shamba La Wanyama) Some are completely impersonal others are utterly vindictive *insert evil laugh here*.

What I’m trying to say is that in this day and age, the equivalent of the fat lady singing -when you go to your ‘friend’s’ page and find this –> ADD FRIEND.

If that happens to you some time soon, don’t catch a feeling.Remember there’s probably a pending request or two from some stranger, so add friend, move on until delete do you part.

Oh and just to let you know Nov 17th is National Unfriend Day.

Here Kitty Kitty..Here Kitty!

Today I don’t feel like posting anything…

I’ve been on a Bruno Mars tip for the longest time, concerning my blog.

I’ve wanted to write for the longest but I succumbed to the ‘not-writing demon’. Sometimes I feel like I have so much to say, other times I can barely whisper.

I’m not the greatest writer who ever lived but I figure that my life deserves to be chronicled. If not every living moment, how about my happy ones, my sad ones and generally the ones I remember to jot down.

Sometimes, it feels like blogging is such a waste especially when what I’m blogging is true to who I am. What happens if tomorrow we wake up and all ‘the internets’ (yes I said internets) are gone. It is 2012, you know. Thats just one of the thoughts that keeps me from blogging. Then there’s this other bit, the fact that my blog is me baring it all.. telling ‘Mich’ like it is..making me vulnerable to your scrutiny. That thought has kept me away.

I mean, I could start a fashion (or lack of it) blog, music, or someother  thing that won’t leave me exposed..

Funny part, I have another blog which I have abandoned in equal measure. Well.. I’ll get up, I’ll write..I’ll try ( i have a feeling I’ve said this before )

Oh my…looks like we have a post!!! YAY!!

You must be mad!

Madness oh madness

That is what I suffer from.This madness is nothing like we know it. I require not the confines of a mental institution yet I am as mad as they come. Neither drugs nor tranquilizers can heal me or offer me peace of mind because my madness is the type that cant be diagnosed yet it sets me apart from the ‘sane’ ones.You must be wondering where I’m going with this. Well, I’ll make it clear in just a little bit but before I do I’d like to declare to you that you may just be as mad as I am.

There those things we do, those situations that we always find ourselves in. Those dead ends, that pain, that heartache, that friend, that bar, that drink… Different days, same scenario..some say same sh*!, different days.

In our ‘post match analysis’ you and I always make the vow to NEVER go down a certain road again. How lovely? Yes, its lovely until you find yourself going down the same same boulevard, in the same old clothes destined for the same old pain and regrets. All in all… It is a stupid cycle. Its not vicious..we’re not cursed, we’re just stupid..in a nutshell we’re mad. Did I just hurl insults? Not really..I’m calling it like it is. This is because madness is really doing the same things over and over expecting different results.

I realise that I must do things differently if I’m to rid myself of all the madness. No drugs, no therapy can cure me and you my friend must realise the same.
Knowledge and application are two different things. Well, I know the things I need to change..Hold my hand dear friend and lets bid this madness goodbye. I was created for greater, it’s time I started acting like it.

**This post was originally published on Facebook by Michelle Michelle TheBrand on 25th October 2011**

The goose is getting fat

Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat.

Please put a penny in the old man’s hat.

If you haven’t got a penny, a ha’penny will do.

If you haven’t got a ha’penny God bless you.

At one point in my early years, I had to learn this song. It was the scariest song, I’d ever heard yet it was connected to my favorite time of the year. The opening line declared that Christmas was on its way and was the perfect way to say goodbye to November. Enter December, I had all the ‘Christmassy’ things to look forward to. The change of atmosphere in the neighborhood was always evident, even the water tasted different. There were parties practically every weekend in December. Every visit to the city centre was made complete by the sight of ridiculously disproportionate Santas stationed at various shop entrances. Most of these shops had amateurishly painted windows and exaggerated displays yet this only built up my Christmas cheer.

Our house always got expertly decked out. Cartons of tinsel and crepe paper would find their way out of storage. As a child, I always thought that elves came to decorate the house but I later discovered that the elves were actually my elder sisters. Before I knew it, I was ‘the elf’.The best part of my ‘elfin’ duties was putting the star on the Christmas tree. It always felt like such an accomplishment. Come to think of it, it was!

Only when the tree was in place did the presents start piling. Everyday they’d be a few more. I’d take them, shake them, press them real hard in an attempt to figure out what was in each box. I had this little notebook where I’d keep count of how many presents everyone was getting.  This was a sign that Christmas was coming. On the night before Christmas, I’d leave out cookies and milk for Santa. Since our house didn’t have a chimney, I always left the dining room window open for St. Nicholas to squeeze in.(I later found out that my mum doubled up as Santa)

Christmas morning would be the same every year. A huuuuuuuuuge Chocolate Cake and the finest things were always laid out for breakfast. I’d open my presents and let the day morph into whatever it wanted. There was no goose, no old man and no ha’penny.

(Somewhere along the way, the delightful feelings about Christmas have been replaced with ‘Oh-No-Not-Again’ feelings.)

Nevertheless, Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat!

Remember Me?

When I was little, I had lots of toys. Dolls, teddy bears, building blocks, cookery sets, the works.I loved my toys especially Baby Chrissy ( a hand-me down doll and an honorary member of my family).

Every so often, I would get a new addition to my ‘empire’. The new toy would always be the star of the show until, the newer one came along. Well that was the story of my life or is it the story of my toys’ lives.

When it was time for spring-cleaning, I’d always find my old toys huddled up in some nook. My interaction with these long lost  inanimate objects would always conjure up feelings that I can only describe as ‘yummy’. I’d be excited about them all over again. I’d fall asleep playing with my older dolls…it felt like heaven. Actually it was heaven *cue the angelic voices*. However this romance was always short-lived because I’d soon have a new toy.

Funny but this blog feels like one of those toys. I recall all the psyche I had when I started it then..something happened. I got bored and moved on to the next thing. Then today, I remembered that I used to have a blog (actually 2) and decided to find it. I really dont know how long this will last but I plan to enjoy the ride.

I plan to enjoy this, as well as revive my other blog. Who knows I may end up being consistent.

Slowly but surely, I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. So hello my darling blog. Do you remember me?

 

Soccer Shmoccer… Let’s play!!

Where do I begin? I plan to complete this blog in 90 mins flat. No extra time because I’m writing about soccer and no injury time because I am not planning on breaking a nail as I type.

If only the soccer balls were this cute!!

Ok Soccer, what do I know? At least I’m clear on the fact that a soccer match is not what lights up a stadium (NKT me if you like). There are eleven men each side, I’m not sure how many substitutes and definitely a ball. There’s also lots of money involved. Sometimes I cant help thinking soccer is like slave trade coz I’ll hear a random player’s name and then an obsecene amount of money. Speaking of which, why do teams trade their players? I mean, if a certain player is so good. WHY ARE YOU GIVING HIM UP???

Haha..yes I’m laughing coz I’m not sure what the difference is between Man City and Man U. Are they on the same side or? (Disclaimer: These are genuine questions.)

There exists the Premier league and UEFA cup. What’s their story? World Cup-that one I understand. Once every four years, it’s like the Olympics for soccer, right? Speaking of which, there must be soccer in the Olympics. So my point is that FIFA(yes I know that one) should just collabo with the Olympics guys and have the World Cup during the Olympics. Save water, save electricity and save the planet.

I used to hear of David Beckham, where did he go? Can I safely assume that he I still married to Posh Spice? Its funny how most people I know are crazy about one team or the other.  Arsenal, Man U, Chelsea, Liverpool. These could be one and the same team to me for all I care. All the supporters should check out http://www.itsjustagame.com (yes the webpage actually exists).In the same news, I can’t believe how people are able to cut short their earth journeys for the sake of a team. Like really? Suicidal fans, surely!! Smh, very, very SMH!!

Soccer  is a foreign concept to me. This game in which a handful of men run around for one and a half hours watched by millions of people who could really use the exercise. The pitch kinda looks like a hockey pitch and I’m proud to say that because I played hockey I can tell you what the offside rule is. Ok I cant really tell but I understand it. I hope that counts for something (On my league table hahahaha)

Everyday

Almost everyday, I wake up with a plan. I know what I want to achieve and how to get around it. I’m not a morning person and I struggle just to get my eyelids open. But when I eventually get round to it, I embrace that plan.

 

I hate conversation in the mornings and stick to one-word answers. Well, that’s just who I am. I can never pick out my clothes the day before. I have days when all my clothes seem ugly to me and other days, I’m spoilt for choice.

 

Once I get past my morning blues, I’m ready to face the day. I’m ready to make things happen. Funny but on most days, it seems that the elements are working hard to see me have an unsuccessful day. If it’s not this, it’s the other. Traffic, Power blackouts, scorching sun, dropped calls, lousy internet, bad friends, a running nose and maybe just maybe a lost purse.

 

Some days, I push past the elements but on other days I let them get the best of me. Yes, I said I let them. I accept the weariness, the fatigue and slouch back and watch the day go by. I do have a choice. Well, sometimes I make the wrong choices knowing very well that I have ventured one step further from that thing we call excellence.

 

I’m only human, my cells need to grow. My skin needs to replace itself..yakkedy shmakkeddy. I could go on. I’ve already concluded my story when I agreed that I have a choice. I can push on in spite of the elements. Life happens so I need to happen right back. Some things about me like the fact that I hate conversation in the mornings are all good but I cant let the elements get the best of me. I need to rise up early to beat the traffic. I must find other things to do when there is no electricity ( agood old book never hurt anyone) I can get some sunscreen before I step into the scorching sun. A pair of stunners would be brilliant. I can get a life beyond Social Media (OMG, LOL) I can still love the bad friends or … hmmmm let’s just stick at loving them. An apple a day wont be a bad idea, anything to keep th sniffles way. Yes… I could go shopping and replace that lost purse.

 

When all is said and blogged, life aint that bad. Actually life is beautiful. I’ll probably stay up watching a movie, struggle waking up in the morning and do this all again tomorrow. Difference is… I’ll love the day, I’ll love the elements and yes, yes, yes, I will love you!

 

When friendship ends…

I make friends easily(when I want to ) That said, I’m that kind of girl who loves her friends. If you are my friend then you know that I have your back, through and through and through.

When I was younger, I valued friendship a lot less than I do now. I did lots of stupid thing to gain and maintain friends. I was never quite a leader. I appeared to be, but deep down I was the follower.

Insecurities galore, but hey that’s a blog for another day.

I’ve not seen some of my high school friends for years. Thanks to technology, we can keep in touch. Truth is that friendship that has lasted all these years is such a beautiful thing. It is heart warming when you pick up conversations with old friends and no one can tell you’ve been apart for years. That is the rose petal side of friendship.

There is the thorny side too. You watch people you’ve met along the way change like the proverbial chameleon before your eyes. Your yellow friend is now blue and red with burgundy dots. She was gonna be your best maid, but she’s turned into a monster over night. He was your best-man but now he cant remember your first name.

Attempts to be cordial are met with hostility-in-a-box. No resuscitation can be given to the friendship. Do you keep trying,?do you walk away? Many a time, I have walked away bitter, dejected, vowing to never make more friends. At times like this God always reminds me to stop focusing on the thorns on the roses instead of the roses among the thorns. God has given me great friends. I have those I’ve kept from my childhood and others I’ve met along the way.

I’ve stopped crying over broken friendships. I’ve let their ashes go in the wind. I thank God for the friends He has given me. I’ll cherish every moment that I’ll spend with them. My prayer is for friendships that never end.