My refusals

This post is inspired by a Facebook update I posted a couple of weeks back. It is a list (not exhaustive and in no particular order) of things I refuse to believe (in). Feel free to add your own.

I refuse to believe that

1. Men cannot wear pink
2. Socks can be worn more than once without washing them
3. Cat-fights are an acceptable way of solving problems
4. Colour-blocking cannot go wrong
5. I cannot have pizza for breakfast
6. I will die if I never drink another soda
7. Love is for the weak
8. Chivalry is dead
9. I don’t have time
10. People who do bad stuff will get away with it
11. I can fix other people
12. There are mistakes too big from which recovery is impossible
13. If I stay he will change
14. I can’t win
15. It doesn’t make any difference how hard I try, or how hard I work or if I do my best or not; the outcome is the same as if I didn’t try at all
16. I have to be able to do it all, perfectly (perfect daughter, perfect sister, perfect girlfriend, perfect employee, perfect church volunteer, etc…)
17. I must have everyone’s love and approval
18. It is easier to avoid problems than to face them.
19. I can’t be happy unless things go my way
20. I shouldn’t have to wait for what I want
21. God can’t use me unless I’m spiritually strong
22. All girls must wear six-inch high heels ( as if to say Gully Creeping is ok)

 

That’s all for now.

Don’t Second Guess Me

His brown eyes pierced my being in that sort of way. His jokes revived my sense of humor that was long gone. He made me smile.

Everything about him was wonderful. He was the guy I’d read about in the story books..well not quite, except for the fact that his blue eyes were brown and his hair didn’t get lifted by the wind. He was it. Except for that little feeling that I got when he lied to me the first time.

I convinced myself that it was just a little lie. A teensy weensy lie. I didn’t confront him because I didn’t want to start any trouble. I justified the lie and acted like everything was ok. From that point on he and I became one big lie.

His eyes didn’t change, his jokes got even better and yes…his lies increased. He must have been a master fisher because I played the part of the fish at the end of the line.A fish that was addicted to getting fished. A fish that knew the worm was just a prop but headed towards it anyway. A funny cycle…no actually a stupid cycle of lie, lies and more lies. I’m a woman you know! A little gangsta, a whole lot ghetto, 100% Luhya but yeah I’m a woman alright. They say a woman’s got that sixth sense. Some call it intuition or a hunch. Others call it the inner voice but I call it me. I’ve heard me many times before, often in the midst of stupid stuff. Every woman hears me (I bet Avril heard me too). I’ve heard me, I’ve listened to me but I’ve chosen to ignore me and I have a myriad of scars to show for it.

One day, the sun shone. It didn’t bounce off his hair. On this day his eyes didn’t pierce my being, not one bit. His jokes fell flat like a Coke that had remained open for days. Then he lied to me. I couldn’t believe the nerve he had but I should have been used to it. The bold man opened his mouth and lied again. His lies made my eyes brighten up. I smiled. He smiled. There and then I listened to me unflinchingly telling him off. It felt so good. I felt so free. He started to get angry; I could see his lips moving as his emotion changed to somewhat apologetic. His brown eyes, his jokes couldn’t save him now. He started to speak but I walked away because I didn’t need another lie.